"Lady luck just spit in my eye..."

Yesterday morning I made good on the promise I made to Paulina back in Toronto and headed in to counselling. It was a lot like the initial counselling session I'd taken back in Toronto; an initial assessment designed to gauge what I was there for and what I needed. The diagnosis? Depression. Well, according to her anyway.

To make a long story short, apparently the approach taken by the counsellors there is to "push things back to you", which I'm sure she meant to say was more along the lines of "we tell you to help yourself"; I - I'm sorry, come again? Tell me something I don't know. As a matter of fact, doesn't that defeat the purpose of counselling in the first place? I came to counselling because people kept on telling me how I couldn't do things all on my own, but now I get people at counselling telling me to do things on my own? What a fucking joke. Maybe the definition of counselling is somehow something else which is different between UNB and U of T. They said they'd email me about more details, but I'm really considering just not bothering with counselling. It's not worth the effort if all I'm going to do is be patronized and insulted by being patted on the head and being told things I already know.

I came home after having a few drinks at the graduate house pub when it seemed like my luck at taken a turn for the better - a girl I met weeks (what seemed like forever) ago was at the door waiting for her friends. Eventually her friends came and we all had a pretty nice conversation. It was great actually. Conversation I could actually participate in. Before they went away one of her friends asked me for her MSN info, and...I forgot my notebook. God. Serves me right for not bringing it. The one night I need it the most and I don't have it.

God.

I got home and fired up Adium, and was greeted with an odd request for authorization from someone by the name of tiffanygreen2001@hotmail.com. I thought I clicked authorize, but her name just disappeared. I did a search for that name on MSN and it came up empty. Just empty.

The likelihood of meeting this girl and her friends again is statistically impossible from where I stand. I've totally blown a chance of making some headway in making friends here. At the risk of sounding overly melodramatic, I'm now quite certain that there really is a God, and that he completely, totally hates me.